Grace

I got a wonderful picture of grace while walking with my son.  We were talking about an incident where I pushed him down on the ice....  I didn't mean to push him down.  We were goofing around while taking a break from ice skating.  I was trying to pretend to push him down....Not my best parenting moment.  I helped him up, told him I was very sorry, and tried to hug him.  (He's a teenager and does not want to be hugged by his mom in public!)  Later as we walked and laughed about my parenting skills, he said he could name at least five other times where I "messed up".   He named the time I backed the van into a mailbox and of my mad 80's dancing skills in public.  Then he paused; he thought for awhile and said he couldn't remember any more.  Wow!  That is grace.

You see, while he was thinking, I thought of several things he could say.  The times I lost my temper and yelled.  The times I didn't validate his feelings.  The times I was selfish and told him, "just one more minute" until he left with his need unmet.  Yet, he didn't remember those times.  He was not holding on to my mistakes.  He had let them go, but I hadn't.

That's the problem we have, isn't it?  We don't let go of our mistakes.  We  feel bad.  We ask for forgiveness when necessary.  We try to make restitution.  But then we continue to hold them close.  We play them over and over in our minds.  We use them to feed our insecurities and our fear.  But that is not how God wants us to live.  He wants us to seek His mercy and grace.  In doing so, we can let go of our mistakes and live in freedom.  Free from the guilt and comdemnation.  God says He will remember our sins no more.  He and my son have let them go.  Now it's time for me to do the same.