Transparent

I want to be transparent.  I was talking with a woman whose sister is teaching English in China.  Her real purpose is to share the Gospel.  She is not allowed to tell anyone about Jesus while teaching, but she can outside of school.  So she has set up groups where she might have the opportunity to talk about God.  Apparently, her students love meeting with her.  It made me think.  What draws people to her?  What do they see that is different?  Could it be vulnerability and transparency?

When my children were younger, I was asked frequently how did I do it?  How did I manage five children born 21 months apart without totally losing my mind?  (Thankfully, most of my mind losing was in the comfort of my own home or with close friends who promised to love me no matter what!)  Those questions gave me wonderful opportunities to share God. I told them that I honestly couldn't make it without Him.  I shared how God provided for me, for us, through other people volunteering to help.  I told stories of how other moms encouraged me, supported me, and hugged me when I cried.  I shared how God's word and His presence nourished me, built me up, and changed me.  I found it easy to do because, quite frankly, I was too tired to keep up the mask that we all like to wear.  The one that says: I have it all together. 

I was in over my head and I knew it. But now as the kids get older and I'm getting enough sleep, I find myself trying to put the mask back on.  It seems everyone is wearing one these days. We are all fine and we never really need anything.  Difficult situations are brushed off as no big deal; nothing that we can't handle...... That is not how I want to live my life.  The mask is tiring and burdensome and it creates a barrier in relationships.  I want it off!  And I'm finding that I am not alone.  But there is a fear that lurks there.  It says that certain people will not understand or will twist what they see in order to gain control.  It tells me that what is underneath is not good enough.  But that is a lie. I am God's child; fearfully and wonderfully made. Yes, some may not understand and some may even be disappointed.  But I am willing to risk it for the freedom and the joy that I experience as I live my life without the mask.  Care to join me?