Disappointment

I'm seeing disappointment in a new way.  Recently, a set of circumstances presented themselves.  I knew in my heart that God was in the midst of the situation and that He was working.  And I began to dream about the incredible things He was going to do.  I dreamed about lives being changed and new life rising from dead bones.  I was ready.  But things have not gone as I had hoped.  Instead, disappointment has come. And if I am honest, my disappointment is that God has not worked in the way I had hoped or thought He would.  He has not followed my suggested plan of what could or should happen. (Oh, is my pride showing?)  So I am disappointed.  My disappointment led to a place of discouragement and questioning.  Did I not hear Him correctly?  Was I being self-centered?  Was I not seeing things clearly?  How could I have been so wrong?

But then He reminded me of something I have learned about myself while watching movies.....  My favorite are epic adventures.  Those have a hero who is thrust into a great adventure to fight some form of evil.  At every turn there seems to be another obstacle to overcome, yet the hero continues.  She may experience disappointment, loss, discouragement and the like, but she continues because she believes in the desired outcome.  She stays focused on the prize; the victory; the big picture.  I so want to be that hero.  I long to be brave and have great adventures that have a lasting impact on the world.

So now instead of questions and discouragement, I'm using my disappointment as motivation. No, I have not seen the desired outcome in the circumstances.  No, God did not work the way I wanted Him to.  No, I don't know why.  (Maybe because He knows better than me and sees the entire picture!)  Yes, I still believe God will work things out in His own time.  The difference for me, is that I won't let disappointment defeat me or stop me from pursuing my dream.  God has helped me turn my disappointment into passion; a passion I know He will use.