Motherhood

Motherhood was my first dream.  While I was growing up, I was always encouraged to find and build a career.  I was told to live on my own and learn to be self sufficient.  So I studied in school and searched for what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Secretly though, I dreamed of being a mom.  I didn't think I could tell anyone about my dream.  Girls were supposed to pursue being a doctor or lawyer, not being a mom.  But one day, I shared my dream.  So, when the timing seemed right, my husband and I decided to start a family. 

It seemed easy enough.  We had friends who were having children.  They would decide to start a family and within a short time, announce their pregnancy.  Some of them even planned which month they would have their child!  It seemed that God had other plans for us.  We tried.  We prayed.  We sought medical help.  But there was no child. 

Getting pregnant became my obsession.  It became my idol.  God doesn't like it when you have idols.  So He began to pursue me; to woo me back to Him.  I'd like to say that I turned around quickly without much coaxing.  But that would be a lie.  I'm a bit stubborn.  It took some time.  Some yelling.  And a lot of tears.  Until one day, I laid my dream of pregnancy and children on the altar.  I was willing to let go of my dream so that I could cling to God. 

In time, He was gracious enough to give us children.  First, a beautiful daughter and then, a set of quadruplets made up of two boys and two girls.  It hasn't been easy.  And there are days I would like to forget.  But it has been wonderful.  I get the honor and privilege of living out my most treasured dream.  God is good!