Scars

My kids like to compare scars.  They compare them with each other and with their friends.  One of my sons has a scar from a friend hitting him in the head with a golf club.  It required stitches.  My other son has a scar from a hernia repair.  (Thankfully, he does not show that scar to anyone!)  My oldest daughter has a scar on her chin and one by her ear from two different falls.  All of my younger children have scars from IVs.  They were nine weeks early and required many.  Sometimes my husband and I will join in and show our various scars.  Some of which we acquired during childhood and some as adults.   In some way, it is interesting to recount the different incidences that caused the injuries.  Often times we find ourselves laughing about the circumstances and the reactions of others.  Some of the stories only got funny with age... 

Comparing our scars is really an act of intimacy.  Through the telling of the stories we discover important details about each other.  We learn of important events.  We learn the thoughts and feelings of others.  We also learn the impact the events have had.  I learned from my oldest daughter, who saw her brother get hit with the golf club, that she thought he was going to die because of all the blood.  She was terrified and worried for her brother.  And now she has no interest in learning to play golf.  She associates it with getting hurt.  (Did I mention she saw me get hit in the head with a golf club as well?) 

You can learn a lot about someone from their scars.  That's why I think it is so important to share them with those who are close to us.  Our scars speak to where we have been and why we react the way we do.  I know it can be scary.  You may not want to share all the gory details, especially at first, but there is closeness that enters into relationships when we share our scars.  And so often, in the sharing, God brings healing.  One day while sharing the scars of my father leaving, my youngest daughter, with tears in her eyes, said that she was sure my father did love me even if he couldn't be with me.  Those words pierced my heart and brought healing in a way that I could never have imagined. 

So don't cover your scars as if they don't exist or don't matter.  They do.  Share them when you feel led to do so.  You may be surprised what God will do....