My Rainbow Calendar

We have been in the same small city for three years now, yet my kids have not really found their places of belonging.  So all summer I kept encouraging them to get involved, try new things, join clubs, participate in youth group activities, and meet new people.  They listened.  So, as back to school closed in and the activities increased, I began to run out of room on our family calendar.  A new, bigger calendar was in order.

In an effort to save space and keep track of who had what activity, I assigned different colors for each child.  I eagerly began writing down the various activities and events.  There were cross-country and volleyball practices, games, and meets; various school club meetings; church meetings and activities; school registration events; orthodontist appointments; and babysitting, pet sitting, and house sitting.  As the calendar filled up, I had a beautifully colored masterpiece......and an anxiety attack!  Our relatively peaceful, not overly scheduled lives had become a rainbow of activity carefully plotted on the kitchen calendar. 

Instead of feeling organized and ready to face the year, I wanted to run!  An option my husband said was not going to work for him.  So I did the only thing I could think of doing.....I starting repeating 'Help me Jesus!  Help me Jesus!' over and over.  (It's the same phrase I say when I ride a roller coaster or Ferris wheel.)  As usual, He showed up to help!  No, He didn't give me a personal assistant (although that would have been awesome!) or give me more hours in the day.  Instead, He reminded me that He would be with me every step of the way, that He gave me a wonderful husband who is willing to dig in and help, and kids who have learned to offer me a lot of grace.

There are days when the sight of my rainbow calendar still overwhelms me; so I ask for help.  And some things have fallen through the cracks, like a missed guitar lesson; so I ask for grace.  Thankfully, I am given both....

My Long Summer Break

In May, I decided to take some time off from writing.  I planned to take four to six weeks off so I could get through the crazy end of school tests and events.  But on the last day of school, it happened....My oldest daughter got in the van and said, "It's official; I'm a senior!"  My heart stopped.  Of course I knew she was going to be a senior and things would begin to change, but hearing it made it all too real.  Her words marked the beginning of a new season of parenting for me, preparing to launch my children.

I knew this day would come and as excited as I am about the adventures that lay ahead for her and her siblings, I'm also a little anxious about what the future holds.  For the last 18 years, I've been a mom.  Even a few nights ago at a school function, I was introduced as 'the mom with all the kids'.  Soon  my identity will no longer be tied so closely to my children.  I will return to being Karen.  Before that happens, I want to soak in the time I have left. 

So my short break turned into a much longer break.  This summer we played.  We went to a water park and the beach.  We played games.  We went swimming.  We toured colleges.  We watched movies and caught up on TV shows. We sat together and talked.  And we laughed a lot.  It was fabulous!  I stored up memories that I will always cherish.   Memories that make me smile and laugh out loud.  Memories that comfort me when I think of what's to come.  Memories I can share with their children some day.  Memories that make my heart full.  It was time well spent......