How Do You Define Family?

When I was younger, I would have defined family as broken, dysfunctional, frustrating, hurtful,  and virtually nonexistent. 

My father left my mom when I was very young.  For many years it was just her and I.  There came a time, though, when she wanted to share her life with someone.  The problem was that she didn't choose wisely when it came to men.  They hurt her and they hurt me.  She finally came to the conclusion that marriage was not for her.  She told me that if she talked of marriage again, I was to do whatever it took to stop her.  So twelve years ago when she said that she was getting married, I was angry.  I called and told her sternly (I yelled) that she should not get married again.  She ignored my pleading and married.  I had no idea that he would be the man God would use to redefine my family.

Over the years, I watched as he loved my mom well.  He spoke well of her whether she was present or not.  He was patient and kind.  He was forgiving.  He treated her with grace and dignity.  And when she got sick, he did all he could to care for her.  He was the man she had always deserved.

Then something remarkable happened when my mom died.  Instead of my family getting smaller, it grew into something wonderful!  Upon her death, her husband made a promise; we would be a family....always, no matter what. 

Incredibly, I have experienced a greater sense of family since her death.  There is a closeness, a love, a caring for one another that has grown exponentially.  Even his family has embraced us and welcomed us.  I only wish my mom was a part of this transformation.  It's the family she always wanted to create for her children.   A family that still has its problems, but is now defined by love, laughter, and encouragement.