My Temper Tantrum

 I have been throwing a temper tantrum for the last few weeks.  Thankfully, it's been mostly in my mind and heart. (Because no one wants to see a middle aged woman throw herself on the floor to kick and scream...)  Now why, you may ask, was I having this tantrum?  For the usual reason; I was not getting my way.  Plans were not working out as I had imagined.  Things that I had done in the past were not reaping the same results as before.  People were not responding to me the way I was hoping they would.  Things just weren't going my way.  I was left feeling disappointed, confused, and angry.  So I began doing the mature thing; I went before God and began to complain and whine and stomp my feet.  Thankfully, He can handle my childish behavior and still love me.

When I finally stopped and asked Him for help and clarity, He showed me Isaiah 43:18-19a.  "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!"   The ways I had done things in the past were fine and had worked, but God is wanting to do things differently this time.  The problem is that I am comfortable and familiar with the 'old' ways.  I don't see any reason to change.  Yet, God sees the bigger picture and He cares about my growth and maturity. 

So I am learning to let go of the former way of doing things.  I wish I could say that it has been easy.  It hasn't.  New fears have emerged, my stubbornness has reached new heights, and I find myself grieving for the past when things seemed easier.  But I'm also learning to trust God in new ways and I look forward to seeing what He has planned.  So I've decided to stop the tantrum, resolved to forget the former ways and cling to God as He leads me in this new way.   I'll let you know how it goes....